Pretty good!” He waltzed towards the window. “That’s why I won’t skip a single day from now on.” “I do! That’s why I take your lessons!” He looked up. “ Mon Dieu, you really don’t care about French, do you?” With glass shards everywhere and sweat dripping from his clumped feathers, he seemed shaken. The owl stepped back and put a wing to his forehead, shuddering. “ Vous sommes ? WAIT N O-” I ducked as Duo whipped the bottle at my head. “‘ TU ’? What am I, a school chum? Give me a ‘ vous ’.”

“Okay, okay! Hang on.” I took a deep breath. I swallowed, trying to remember what my old nemesis Madame Windsor had drilled into my mind. “ En Français, tell me I deserve better students and you’re a disappointment to the French language,” He said, pushing the side of the makeshift blade against my collarbone. “I took it in school!” At this, Duo stopped and narrowed his eyes. I ran towards the door, but Duo stepped in front.

“Well, you could’ve parlez-vous’ed en Français, but here we are.” He screeched and waved the glass shard in my face, feathers flying across the room with every swipe. “There must be something I can do,” I begged. “ Non, I just came here to teach you a lesson and drink Orangina.” With a swing, Duo smashed the bottle on the countertop, creating a glass dagger.ĭuo lunged forward and I scurried back, looking around for an exit. He untwisted the cap and downed it in one go. ” He shook his head, pulling from under his wing a bottle of Orangina, the French soda. You’re the one who wants a governmental job, not me. “I try every day to teach you this precious second language. “Or do you not know what that means, you stupid bitch ?” Smashing the window pane with his talons, he stepped into my room. Massive and enshrouded in darkness, except for a pair of bright, crazed eyes, was the slime-green language king himself. When I opened them, I yelped at what I saw staring at me through the window. I stared outside at the darkness then rubbed my eyes. We’ll stop sending them for now.” Thank God. “These reminders don’t seem to be working. I didn’t need an owl to remind me of this.

My grade 10-level French wasn’t getting any better. Usually, the notification reminds me to take daily French lessons. Amongst emails, notifications, and texts, there my relentless frenemy was: Duo, the green Duolingo owl. I’d finally submitted my essay on Canvas, and my burning eyes demanded I close my laptop for the night.

Duo owl